Mona

 

This is the fifth outfit I've tried on and taken off. I'm meeting Ross and a few of the executives from the office for a power lunch at a restaurant called Razzalo's in less than forty-five minutes and I can't find anything I want to wear. Frustrated I settle for a red designer pantsuit that makes me look professional and competent yet approachable. I add some final touches to my makeup and hair I'm done. Before I can put my pumps on my cell phone vibrates and Ross's number flashes on the screen. My heart begins to race uncontrollably.

      I take a deep breath before picking up. "Hello."

     "Are you ready?" Ross is not into small talk so it took me a while to get used to his directness.

      I tease, "Well … Hello Mona, how are you? Oh me? I'm great, Ross."

      He chuckles. "I'm downstairs, thought I'd save you the trouble of having to figure out how to find the restaurant."

      Did you now?

     "That's nice of you. I'm on my way down."

Giddy with anticipation at the sight of him. I reach downstairs so quickly, it's as if I floated down. Ross is leaning against his Maserati Granturismo black on black sports car with his arms folded. He's dressed in black slacks and a black Polo shirt. His gaze reveals nothing, but for a moment, I think I see a glimmer of approval in his eyes. He unwinds himself from his stance to open my door. I get in. He closes the door and walks to the other side. This car is not big enough for both of us. He smells and looks good. Hmmm. I want to hold him, want to kiss him. I drink in his scent and exhale loudly.

He glances at me briefly then back to something on his dashboard.

      "Um, how long is the drive?"

      "About fifteen minutes. Did you need to stop somewhere before we arrive?" he asks, turning sideways to look at me. 

      "Um, no," I reply. I want to tell him all that is in my heart. I am in love with this man but I'm too chicken to tell him.

      "Are you okay today?"

      "Me? ... Um, yes," I stutter. He gives me a weird stare then puts the car in drive. The powerful machine comes to life.

      "Mona, I'm not sure what is going on in that gorgeous head of yours but you are definitely acting strangely."

      Ross has a collection of cars and I've never driven in this one. I say, "I like this car." I had to come up with something to change the subject without being noticeable, but nothing gets past Ross.

      "You're skirting the subject." He shifts gears then add, "We both know what's going on here and you're a big girl, Mona. If you want something don't let it slip through your hands because you're scared to take it."

      Caught off guard my mouth drops open in astonishment.  I move to respond but nothing comes out.

      "You can close your mouth now," Ross tells me.

I close my mouth and stare straight ahead. I'm not sure how to respond to what he said so I don't. No man has ever made me feel helpless. What Ross said is the truth, but truth doesn't always remove fear. John has crippled any idealistic notions I had about finding and keeping real love. 

We stop in front of an upscale restaurant and a valet comes to my door. He puts his hand out for me to take it. I take it and he helps me from the car. Ross watches with guarded eyes as I make my way over to his side.

      "Shall we?" he offers as he places a hand on my lower back. The contact sends tremors up my spine and causes my stomach to flutter out of control. It takes all of my strength not to react physically. "Are you okay?" he whispers a little too close to my ears; his lips graze my ear.

      "Yes," I reply breathlessly. There is a glint in Ross's emerald green eyes.

      "Mona, you can take all the time you want to figure this out but I plan on having you."

He disengages himself from me to greet Christy Landon, a senior executive assistant. She is six feet tall with a killer body and her unmatched beauty would bring any red-blooded man to his knees. Ross guides Christy by her elbow to our table and a stab of jealousy rises from a quiet place in my mind.

      Well if you don't want him, someone else will gladly give him attention.

      It's not that I don't want him … I'm just being cautious.

      Is that what this is?

Those thoughts come out of nowhere and I'm not even sure who is talking anymore. Christy laughs at something Ross tells her and I snap out of my private conversation with myself. I can feel Ross's eyes on me. I don't meet his gaze.

      Instead, I say, "Would you please excuse me?" And make a quick exit to the ladies room. I need to compose myself. I'm not really catty but I want to claw Christy Landon's eyes out.